Well, this year definitely had its fill of ups and downs. I lost three wonderful family members: Great Aunt Tootie, Grandma Pat, and Grandpa G. Since the grandparents just passed within the last month and a half, we're still trying to process everything with their loss. A few other downers, but they aren't worth mentioning.
2012 was also filled with a lot of positive things, too. Just a few I'd like to mention: friend weddings (especially D+T's Florida fiesta), babies getting bigger (Camden, Eliana, and Ellie), a job that allows me to be creative and travel, and stronger relationships with my family and friends. I also went on (what feels like) a lot of first dates this year. Even though I haven't found one to stick around for awhile, I've met a lot of interesting men. Perhaps one from last week will change things for 2013, but it's far too early to call that one.
Celebrating NYE and the last wedding of the year tonight at The Rathskeller!
Went to 8:00 am mass with my family and had a nice breakfast before heading back home. I have a feeling the next few months are going to be very different as we feel the effects of two lives now in Heaven. Life's full of surprises, good and bad.
1 - Last night was absolutely fantastic. I had dinner with lovely friends, was part of a small audience for a private after hours one man concert, and had fizzy drinks with new friends at Tini. I got home at 2:00 am. I consider that a TOP NIGHT. (Anyone get my movie reference?)
2 - Today was Grandpa G's showing and funeral. It went a lot better than expected, considering it was a very untimely passing. Good to see family and friends, but sad that we were all getting together for something so sad. Mom, Dad, and I were so happy to see so many of our Indy family members and friends make the 2 hour drive to Ohio!
I'm just going on with everyday life. I feel bad. I'm supposed to be processing all of these emotions and feelings and I just ... can't. I wouldn't normally see my Ohio again until maybe Easter, since the holidays are so jam packed with events where our paths cross. I know when I go to Ohio and see Grandma without Grandpa that it'll probably hit me. My parents are already there working with everyone to make arrangements. I want to say all of the cliche things like "this isn't fair!" but I can't.
Monica said something so beautiful today, I just know it's how things are supposed to be:
"Just think of all those little angels from Connecticut who got to see Santa yesterday!"
How can I be sad when I know he went quickly, (hopefully) painlessly, and is now up in Heaven playing Santa for all of those kids like he loved to do? I can't. He's with my Grandma Pat and all of those little kids from the shooting in Connecticut. It's beautiful.
Yet again, I'm left baffled by God's plan for our lives. Today, my Grandpa G (dad's dad) passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack. He was a pretty healthy 73 year old guy and very happy. Christmas was his favorite time of year, as he l-o-v-e-d to put on his Santa suit and make good use of the beard he's been growing since I was a toddler. It was seriously a life calling for him. Kids would "recognize" him out at dinner and he'd just wave and say hello...I sometimes felt like I was with a celebrity. :-P
I'm thankful that my Grandma was there with him (that he wasn't driving, alone, or outside) when it happened. My mom had just called them (they live in Ohio) to talk to them about the snow just a few hours before. He simply went outside to get their trash cans (strong winds blowing through), then came back inside to continue playing his games on the laptop. When Grandma came back in the room, he was slumped over on top of the laptop. She did CPR on him for 20 minutes. Due to the snow, it took the paramedics about half an hour to get to them. We believe he had already passed at that point since even the paddle shock didn't revive him.
Even though I'm sitting here typing this out, it doesn't seem real at all. We just saw everyone on Sunday! Grandpa and I took a funny picture because I won some money on a scratch off lottery card he gave me for Christmas. He was in great spirits, healthy, and happy. I honestly think I'm still in funeral mode / numb / tired from all of Grandma's (mom's mom) funeral events, since that was just earlier this month (seems like 3 months ago). I just feel horrible for my Grandma. She's always with him; they were always together. She just retired too, so they're supposed to be taking it easy together and enjoying retirement! I think the sweetest thing is this: after my Grandma Pat passed about a month ago, we talked about what they would want in the event of their passing. Grandpa said that his big thing was to not put out any photos of him in his Santa suit so any children present wouldn't think that Santa died. Considerate even in death.
If you would, please pray for my family. This is almost a 180 from my Grandma Pat's passing. Grandpa was healthy and didn't have a prolonged illness at all. None of us were prepared for this, and no arrangements had been made. It's going to be a rough few weeks for everyone, but especially Grandma, Dad, and my aunts. Please keep them in your prayers. Hopefully, my mom can work her magic as she always does to get arrangements made and keep everyone in high spirits.
I've already told my Grandpa (mom's dad - the one I see all the time) and will say to my Grandma (dad's mom - in Ohio) to not get any ideas. We're on a roll of one a month and really don't need it to continue.
Last thought: he passed quickly and on the day after Christmas. Could Santa ask for anything more? I think not.
I had a great time at brunch this morning with ... 17(?) friends. I think that's what our final count was, but it was a table full of constantly moving babies and people. The food was good, the atmosphere was a bit fancy, and the company was fantastic!
Had a great dinner with Dave and Steph M tonight at End of the Line Public House. I need to go back when it's warmer outside to see what else is good on the menu. It was really cold in the restaurant (but it's an old building and has a lot of windows). Cheap (good) eats!
Each year, the holiday season comes and goes as a giant blur. My out of town friends are all here (as far as I know), but their time in Indy will go so fast! I suppose my point is that I wish we could spread it out a little to really appreciate and enjoy our time with each other, our friends, and family. I didn't know it at the time, but last Christmas was the last one we spent with my Grandma Pat. I'm okay ... just thinking about her. The world is going crazy, time is flying, and there's hardly a thing to show for it. So, my dear friends, if I hug you real hard when I see you over the next few days/weeks/months ... just go with it. :)
Apparently, taking a break from this is the name of my (new) game.
Highlights: I'm crazy busy. It's almost Christmas. I went to Austin to see Becca + Lance! I made some Blackberry Cheesecake for Thanksgiving and again for Ella's birthday. My hair is long (and I like it). I bought some fabulous vintage postcards when in Austin with Becca; they're already in frames and ready for my wall. Every day, I go between my old clothes (baggy) and my new clothes from Deb's wardrobe (fabulous and slim fitting). I have 2 couple friends that just got engaged! Sandra Bullock's restaurant, Walton Fancy & Staple, makes an amazing sandwich called "Turkey Sweet" (I'm drooling right now). I am pretty excited about warm, fuzzy socks all the time. I was stalked by a cat named Whiskers the whole time I was at Becca + Lance's apartment. Cooookies are plentiful and tasty these days ... everywhere I go. :)
So, yeah. Took a break from non-essential items, such as this, while my grandma was in the hospital and we celebrated her life after her passing. She'd be pissed if I wasted my life away wallowing in sadness, so onward I move!